Being in the house all day, alone, was terrifying but there was no where else to go. I didn't want to go out, but I couldn't stand staying in that house. I realized that I needed a place to go to get well, to heal. Was there anywhere? Was there somebody that could take care of me, like I took care of the whole world? I felt very abandoned. Where was everybody? My friends loved me, but they're busy. And they couldn't understand why it still felt so bad because I wasn't shot. My family was far away in London . My husband needed to go to work and keep us a float financially. He had moved on with his life and dealt with the robbery in a totally different way. But big strong me became pathetic and weak and sad and lonely and lost. Having had a career for 27 years and working every day, I didn't even know what to do with myself. I found myself walking around my house in circles. Music was too loud. People were annoying. I felt like I had had a complete body breakdown but my mind was still sharp.

I closed my eyes one day after going to one of my doctors' appointments, begging for someone to take care of me, and said to myself, "I need to open a facility where I can take care of patients and make them feel better after being a victim of a violent crime or having a severe disease. A place where they can get all the love and attention they need.

For the first time since the robbery I had a focus, something to get up for every morning, something to pull me out of the darkness. During the next few weeks I tried to put on paper all the ideas flowing though my head. I wanted this place to be an escape for people who had been though similar situations or life threatening diseases. A place where people could find their inner peace and come out of the dark. A place called Tranquility. The Light. Tranquility. That was going to be the second half of my life. I was going to have a tranquil life. Tranquility became my focus, my everything. I obsessed about it. I wrote about it. I came up with ideas and plans, yet I didn't have a place for it.

Six months had passed since the robbery and I still didn't know if I could go back to work. Back to a place where I didn't feel respected or appreciated. Tranquility was still consuming me but I still didn't know exactly what it would be and since I had never not worked I was afraid to take the risk. ...

Pages:

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9  Next